So, I have 6 daughters; six beautiful, individual, awesome humans who, though similar in some ways, are crazy different in others. I’ve learned a lot about their personalities, and it has been really fun. As a parent, you have to try and find the humour in situations lest you go crazy.
I want you to think about your kids for a minute (or your nieces, nephews, grandkids or great-grandkids). Have you noticed how they naturally respond to situations differently? You can teach them how to respond to different situations in a socially acceptable manner, but in the heat of a moment they will usually react based on their base temperament. There temperaments are who they are at heart.
According to the temperament theory, there are four different temperaments. They are Sanguine, Melancholic, Choleric, and Phlegmatic. Each temperament has specific traits, and tendencies that influence how a person naturally behaves. Persons can have a blend of 2 or more temperaments, but there is usually a dominant one. I put together this fabulous chart using info from the internet and from books I’ve read. My sister advised me to use more visuals. “Use more VISUALS or your blog will be boring!” she said, but I think her being an illustrator makes her a little biased.
So what is your child’s temperament?
Let’s see if you can figure out the temperaments of my 6 girlies.
I wrote the excerpts, but they are all based on real situations and real comments that my kids have made.
Daughter 1
I believe everything has its proper place, like how ketchup only belongs in the refrigerator, but my other family members don’t get it. My items are always well organized and I don’t like people touching or moving my stuff around. Mummy snuck into my room and borrowed my computer last week while I was sleeping. Afterwards, she bragged about being stealthy like a ninja because she didn’t wake me. I wasn’t impressed, in fact, I was pretty irritated. I like to plan things before I act, and I like my work to be meticulous. Yes, it takes me almost 2 hours to clean the bathroom, but when I’m finished it’s immaculate, and I know the job was well done. Mummy says that I need to get stuff done faster, and I’m working on it, but doing things well takes thought and time. My sisters do things faster, but then mummy complains that it’s not done properly. She needs to decide on what is more important, speed or quality. I need to be more decisive, but what if my choices aren’t the right ones? I can’t just jump into things; there is so much that can go wrong, and that would be a waste of effort.
So, what temperament am I?
Daughter 2
I’ve got so much to do. I’ve got tennis, badminton, culture club (I’m a co-founder), mural painting for art, homework, and my job. I am busy, but I love it, and these activities will all look great on my university resume! When I get older, I will have my own company and own a huge house on a hill with a room for mummy’s collections and a pond that daddy can fish at. I love my sisters, but sometimes they are so annoying. I try to give them extra schoolwork since they aren’t good with their multiplication tables or spelling, and all they do is cry and complain. My littlest sister is unbearable when she watches YouTube, but mummy keeps allowing her to download it on her iPad. I am going to delete it again tonight. I think it’s time for me to schedule and plan another sister’s day since it’s been a while, and Daddy’s birthday is coming up so I need to get my sisters to make a card, and give mummy a list of what I need her to buy for his gift basket. So much to get done.
So, what temperament am I?
Daughter 3
Mummy keeps asking me what I want for dinner, but it doesn’t matter. If she cooks something and I like it I will eat it. She says I need new pants because my favourite ones are too short. I think they are perfectly fine and functional. She even bothered me about my zipper being down, but what’s the point of pulling it up if I have to pull it back down again? Mummy says I need to get more active and try another sport, but it’s too much effort, and I don’t like competing. Besides, I walk to school and back every day, isn’t that enough activity? They make such a fuss over things that don’t matter. I refuse to get rid of my favourite pants, I am not taking up another sport, and there is no changing my mind about it; I will keep that to myself for now, and hopefully, she will only stop bringing it up. I like helping out around the house, and I usually get my chores done on time, but I have to be reminded of what chores I am on because It is hard to keep track. My older sister is good at keeping track of things, and she has so many elaborate plans for the future; I only want to get a good job and make some money.
What temperament am I?
Daughter 4
Mummy is yelling again about all the candy wrappers I left out. I intended to eventually toss them out, but never got around to it. It makes so much more sense to wait until it’s a nice big pile and then throw them all out together. I was relaxing the other day when she called us pigs and said she would give us all pig names. I thought that was pretty rude of her. I will try to hide the wrappers a little better so she won’t complain as much. Chores are such a bother. When Daddy tries to get me to do dishes or take out recycling, I sneak back up to the attic and hide in my room. I enjoy quiet time reading books, fixing puzzles, watching TV, or relaxing in my room while doing my nails. My younger sisters are constantly disturbing me with their loud talking. Sometimes I ignore them when they try to speak to me and hope they will take the hint and leave me alone. It doesn’t work often. I like school and I want to be a fourth-grade teacher when I grow up. Fourth graders seem like an easy age, and I won’t have the extra work of preparing them for EQUAO.
What temperament am I?
Daughter 5
My sisters claim that I’m too loud and I talk too much, but I disagree. Sometimes I try to speak to my older sister, but she ignores me! She is so rude, but I still love her. I like to have fun, and I love to explore and figure things out. One time I coloured my whole palm black with a marker that I found, but then it couldn’t wash off because it turned out to be a permanent marker. Another time, I flooded the bathroom floor because when the toilet clogged up, I flushed it another five times to see if it would unclog. Mummy was pretty mad and said I needed to start thinking things through before acting. One time I added ice tea mix to my fizzy soda stream water. It overflowed and made a mess, but it was absolutely delicious! My experiment worked out for the better, so sometimes risks are worth taking. I love my friends. We spend a lot of time talking at school and on messenger. Sleepovers every week would make me soooooo happy, but mummy is not a fan of sleepovers. I love telling jokes. My older sister will even stop ignoring me and listen and laugh. I enjoy making people laugh.
What temperament am I?
Daughter 6
I love being close to my sisters; they care for me, but sometimes they can be mean! Whenever I ask for something, they either tell me to get it myself or they make me say please. They call me spoiled, but they are wrong because mummy says I’m cute. My older sister doesn’t like me watching Kid’s YouTube because she insists that it will rot my brain. I don’t believe her, but she deleted it from my phone. What about her brain? Mummy should delete it from her phone! I love to draw, colour and paint. When I go outside the lines, I don’t feel good. Sometimes it makes me really sad when I have a picture in my head and I can’t get it to look the same on the paper. Mummy says that it is ok, but it doesn’t feel ok. Sometimes I get scared and worried about things. When we went to the beach I got a little sunburned, and I was afraid to go back because what if I got sunburned again, or something worse?
What temperament am I?
As soon as I think I’ve figured my kids out, they get older, and I start to see the blending of more than one temperament in their behaviour.
Temperament theory, along with other theories, is a fun way to help us understand our kids. When your child does something that makes you want to pull your hair out, it is likely because you two have clashing temperaments. You can’t understand why they would choose to do what they did because you would never have done what they did. Next time, if ever in that situation, try to see things from their temperament point of view. Try to approach the situation with understanding instead of anger.
To the parents who rule with an iron fist, yes, you should be in control, but ruling with love and understanding fosters respect instead of fear. Respect is so much more powerful, and when your kids listen to you because they respect you rather than fear you, you’ve at least partially succeeded as a parent.
And that’s all I’ve got on the topic right now. Hopefully, this helps some parents as it helped me. I have another theory that helped me a lot, but that’s the topic for another blog.
From Sandbabies to Snowbunnies. This is our Life. 